Working With Healers

Dear Julie,

So much of what you have written about I relate to very deeply. It is so helpful to read what you have written as well as to share with others through this blog, this experience of transformation.

My question today is – I see two different healing practitioners. Though I have a deep relationship with each of them and share my spiritual journey with them – at this time of increased difficulties, where it appears that I am doing worse instead of better, it is hard for me to know how to share more fully what if feel is happening and that I trust this is a deep transformation of my whole being.

It would be helpful if you have anything you could share about this. -- Michaela

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Dear One,

There are many people who can understand the intense nature of the transformation process, but not all who are healing practitioners have actually undergone change at this level - the physical/energetic level. Many are working with the consciousness aspect but have not yet become involved with the physical.

Nevertheless, it is not necessary that a practitioner whom you work with understand from their own experience what you are doing. What is necessary is that they trust you and that they trust your trust in the absence of their own understanding. Those who are choosing an alternative path of healing are often engage in the practice of respect for differences, and so even without understanding, they can be willing to trust your inner knowing if you do.

In reality, it is not something that anyone can know for or about another. Inner guidance is unique to each individual. And so your trust in yourself and your guidance must be enough to be the basis for a relationship in which you feel honored on your own journey. If you do not feel so honored, then you must consider the matter of whom you are working with for respect is very important in working with another.

A practitioner does not have to agree with you in order to honor your perspective or in order to help you. Each has their area of expertise and can be helpful within that domain. But they need to accept the potential validity of your point of view, despite their lack of understanding. This is the foundation for a relationship of trust and there is no other.

Blessings - Julie Redstone

Remaining Oneself

All you can ever really be is yourself, no matter what you do and no matter where you are, for the entire world is interacting with you as you are in each moment.

Nevertheless, it sometimes feels difficult to be oneself. It feels like the pressure from others and from expectations undermines the stability of the self. Here is where great learning may take place. For it is a matter of valuing the constancy and integrity of the self, place to place, and person to person, remembering that you are a sacred being - God expressing as you.

Faithfulness to oneself is achieved through inner quiet, inner guidance, inner listening - these are the ways of attuning to oneself in the midst of emotional noise and distraction. The energy of light can support you if you allow it to.

It is a new time, and each choice that you make to become who you are finds great support from the new energies of light now present on the Earth. Be you. Blessings.

New Ways of Relating - Part 2

From a group of articles on New Relationships in "The Art of Being Present."

New Ways of Relating - Part2

Maintaining Trust in the Face of Adversity

The intensification of light is bringing about a confrontation in a more intense way with energies of darkness and negativity both in oneself and in others. For some, this may erupt into relationship difficulties where none or few existed before. For others, it may be felt as a sense of malaise, uneasiness, or depression, with no external cause being apparent.

The underlying beliefs that have accompanied you into this lifetime that are in need of healing are being addressed progressively as light on the Earth intensifies, and these beliefs often challenge the ability of the conscious self to keep its inner house in order and often to keep its outer life in order as well.

Trusting the progress that is being made during this time of difficulty is an essential part of how to hold light in darkness. Knowing that the light is beneath whatever wave of darkness one is passing through is a way of maintaining an anchor in truth and in hope.

In the presence of adversity, hold to the power of light over darkness and to the power of your own soul which has chosen to be here during this very time of difficulty, not to be overcome, but to help others through your presence here.

May all be blessed. Amen.

Relationships as Energy

  See Relationships as Energy

Moving Beyond Feelings of Rejection

Moving beyond feelings of rejection involves letting go of one's dependence on others to define one's identity. Though this is simple to say, it is often difficult to do since the ego-self has had much time to respond in an emotionally reactive way to the actions or non-actions of others, without knowing that another way was possible. This ego-self has been with human beings for a very long time, and so any undermining of its habits involves determination, assisted greatly by an authentic experience that there is another way to live. If the authentic experience of the 'other way' is profound enough, the struggle to get past the ego's premises can be won in an instant.

The way of independence is the way of inner growth - the realization of the wholeness of the self. Each self is capable of experiencing this wholeness which is not dependent upon external circumstance, but on an inner perception of truth. Independence is a relative term, since we are also communal beings who share energy and soul connections with each other that are profound. But soul connections and being dependent are two very different things. Dependency is an emotional bond that has to do with karmic influences that shape identity. Soul connection is a positive bond, created out of love and joy, where two or more feel their inner kinship and identity of soul purpose.

The way of overcoming vulnerability to rejection is the way of turning to the Divine for all needs, and not just the Divine without but the Divine within.

Believe that your wholeness already exists within you and it will be a starting point to stabilize yourself in relation to the responses of the world, whether positive or negative. This stabilization is an essential part of spiritual growth, and is greatly aided by a regular connection with one's higher self.

Beloved ones, the vulnerability to hurt is within your own power to change, to limit, to dissolve in the light of greater truth. This does not mean that there will not be some residual sadness when love's purposes are turned away from by others, but that this sadness will be a Divine sadness based in compassion, not one that reflects on the personal self.

Dynamics of Rejection

It sometimes happens that the reaction of energies of darkness that are unconsciously active within people cause that person to see light as darkness and darkness as light. This can cause one person to reject another, questioning the purity of their motives or their intentions when, in fact, the motives in question partake of a high degree of purity, at least at a moment in time.

It is important to understand the dynamic between darkness and light in energetic terms since the tendency is often to take things personally and to feel rejected by someone's rejecting response. This can happen easily when it is not known that one is involved in a cosmic process that is much larger than the self.

The only way to know that this dynamic is happening, however, is if one has a relatively high degree of clarity and purity of heart in a particular situation. Such clarity need not be perfect, but predominant at a given point in time. Then, it may be seen that the distortions or projections of others are energetically based. Without clear intentions it is impossible to know or perceive the energetic picture correctly, since the negative energies of others can simultaneously be activating one's own negative energies, creating a response circuit that is less than pure that can be perceived by another.

For many people, the tendency to overly-personalize rejecting responses, even when this particular dynamic is not involved, is a longstanding habit and one that is extremely painful to the self. It is far better to cultivate a habit of self-examination so that one's own motives are known, and therefore the projections of others can be allowed to slide off and be let go of.

Emerging Realities

The presence of greater spiritual light on the Earth is increasing the speed at which the emergence of things in need of healing are coming to the suface. This includes the awareness of the need for healing of formerly concealed issues, or the translation of things that were called by other names into a truer perspective.

Even while things that lay dormant are coming into focus, producing emotional intensity and often relationship crises, at the same time, a greater capacity to hold truth and to perceive what needs to be done is also emerging. Light both reveals, and also supports the innate movement of the heart toward 'setting things right'. This movement becomes stronger in the presence of greater light which connects the embodied self with the soul or higher aspects of one's being.

Greater clarity and greater honesty within oneself and with others is opening new possibilities for life on Earth. While in any moment this may feel distressing to the ego and its defenses, it is, at the same time, joy to the soul that is now becoming able to join with physical life on the planet, finding doors that are open that were closed to it before.

May all beings be blessed with an awareness of the love that creates a new Earth.

Relationships and Learning

Relationships often become bogged down in repetitive patterns fueled by tendencies of the past, both from the present lifetime and from past lifetimes. These relationships, however difficult they may seem, are always trying to create new learning and new healing for each individual soul. What one is meant to learn cannot be discerned from the outer form of the situation or difficulty, but only from the inner promptings of truth that dwell within each heart. While one person may need to learn to wait and to remain patient and trusting, another may need to learn to create boundaries and a new standard of respect. Each soul must go into the silence within and ask the question: What is God asking me to learn here? Sometimes the truth is apparent. Sometimes it must be pursued again and again.

Relationships are the medium through which much healing, much difficulty, and much beauty and love can take place. When they are held in God, they become like flowers opening to the sun, perpetually nourished by warmth and by food for the soul.

Sacred Relationships

Acknowledging that you are a sacred being means acknowledging the Divine core of light and love that IS you. The same light and love is in others, often unknown to themselves.

What will you do with yours?

One way of looking at sacred relationships involves understanding them as opportunities in each moment to give and receive love. Everything else that they are about is less important than this. Can you allow it to be less important? Can you allow love to take the place of resentment, envy, judgment, and fear?

Here is another part of a sacred relationship: Can you allow yourself to receive love more fully, to let yourself acknowledge it when it comes to you in surprising ways or from surprising sources? Can you allow yourself to be loved by God? Often, one's ability to receive love is less than one's ability to offer it to others. This imbalance speaks for the unhealed places within the heart that are waiting to be healed.

If you desire sacred relationships in your life, begin with allowing love to be more important than everything else. Reasons for being angry, rejecting, withdrawn, or afraid then have to be let go of in favor of your choice to love. Such a choice can change an entire life.

Beyond 'Like' and 'Dislike'

The history of the ego is the history of self-protection based on a sense of identity uprooted from its Divine context. We are afraid because we feel alone and unprotected.

This is also true in the world of relationships, where the history of judging and feeling judged, rejecting and being rejected, liking some and not liking others creates a familiar world in which we feel relatively secure, while barring from our circle of intimacy those we feel do not belong in it either because they judge us or we judge them.

Such a history has been with most human beings for a very long time. As a result, although one's conscious self may intend to let go of the concepts of 'like' and 'dislike,' it is often very difficult to do. If we hold these concepts to be valid, then we have a reason for avoiding or remaining apart from others - a reason that we believe is valid. As a result, we restrict our world to only those relationships in which we feel comfortable or in which we feel a sufficient common ground.

However, the life of the sacred is calling to us. It is asking us to redefine what 'common ground' is. It is asking us to no longer believe the reasons we tell ourselves for excluding anyone from our hearts.

This universal love to which we are being called cannot separate itself from anyone because there is no one to whom we are not connected. There is no one whom we are not part of. And yet the ego knows nothing of these things. It still thinks that there are reasons to reject some and to accept others. It maintains its own way of doing things - a way that is based on the history of duality and of separation from the unity of life.

Often, souls come to a place in their spiritual journey where the desire to live as a soul comes into conflict with the residual desire to live as an ego. Then, there are justifications, rationalizations, reasons, and so forth that we use to tell ourselves why we still believe in separation from others. Often, we are content to cling to the old premises, for example, "It is not I that cannot accept them. It is they who cannot accept me." This, of course, is a false premise for closing one's heart, since love does not depend upon two; it only depends upon one. One can still love in the presence of not-love in another. Whether our love can be expressed in a manifested joining, however - that depends upon two. But love itself depends only upon one.

When the decision to love without exception becomes an inner necessity, the ego begins to lose its grip upon the daily consciousness. Sometimes there is a vascillation back and forth between the old ways of fear and judgment and the new ways of the soul, but progress is made according to the degree to which one no longer believes one's former rationales.

Taking responsibility for one's own consciousness is an important part of forward movement in the healing of relationships. Finally, one must move away from believing that anyone else can 'make us' feel a certain way. When that premise can be let go of, the heart can breathe a sigh of relief. Then, everything can be seen and felt as a choice, and each soul who makes progress along a spiritual path can learn to choose with greater wisdom, greater love, and greater self-awareness.

The Healing of Anger

Many people would like to get rid of anger but do not know how. This is often because despite its inner and outer consequences, anger is frequently chosen over its possible alternatives which are deemed to be more painful. What are these alternatives, and why would one choose anger above them?

In a general sense, at the root of all anger is helplessness. One might say that at least some of the time the sense of helplessness is a perceived sense rather than a reality. Or, one might say that if one were in right relationship to life and God there would be a way through the helplessness which is a legacy of the sense of separation from the Divine. Indeed, both of these statements would be true. Neverthless, on the level of human experience, to undo anger and to approach a deeper level of truth, one must be willing to experience the underlying issues of helplessness and fear that one is warding off. This does not mean giving these feelings full power over the self. Nor does it mean that one must stop acting in self-caring ways and instead become passive. Rather, helplessness must be uncovered as an inner perception of how things are or were.

People choose anger because anger feels like it empowers the self. It reduces the feeling of helplessness and conveys both the desire and often the capacity to 'do something' about whatever is troubling. Often, however, the success of such a strategy is an illusion, since anger generally begets negative consequences either from the environment or from within oneself.

In the context of a spiritual framework, the uncovering of the feeling of helplessness needs to be accompanied by a willingness to give the helplessness to God, and trust that no matter what the circumstance, peace, hope, and healing can take place. This is possible because healing does not depend on things changing on the outside but on the inside.

These things are simple to say but often difficult to put into practice for those who have chosen anger as the safer way to live. Trust that letting go of anger will leave things alright is sometimes a difficult belief to acquire. Often, profound helplessness has been experienced in relation to dealing with circumstances that could not be changed, people who could not be changed, or the limitations of life as a whole over which one has had little or no control. Each of these things, when faced directly, can evoke a great deal of pain. For this reason, it is easy to see why one would want to choose anger and to protect against its alternatives.

Nevertheless, and despite these reasons, helplessness does not require defenses. In the presence of the feeling of vulnerability, it requires a relationship with God and a relationship with pain which allows it to be held with compassion and trust. Such compassion and trust allows the self to know that even in the presence of pain, one is alright and upheld from within.

Helplessness is not weak, nor is it bad, nor is it passive. It is part of the human experience in a state of perceived separation from God. Its strength lies in its honesty and in the relationship it creates with the Divine. Out of this relationship comes an understanding of the highest possible response to life in the way of action or non-action. This understanding applies to those situations which would formerly have been met with anger. Out of this relationship with the Divine also comes compassion for all that exists in limitation.

To undo anger, one must replace it with trust and with the desire to learn a new relationship with life. Having seen its purposefulness as a defence and also the negative consequences for oneself and others, one can choose to face the feeling of helplessness more openly. One can choose to live from a deeper truth.

Out of this choice may come the decision to lay down ones arms and armaments and to become like a little child again. Most children feel and are small and helpless without a sense of endangerment. They feel trustful and they feel protected. In a similar light, with the innocence of a child, one can learn once again to find a substitute for anger, and a new way of living that is more open and free.

The Healing Power of Relationships

There is, despite all our knowledge, a great mystery concerning the healing power of relationships.

Often, we wish for others to change so that we can feel better or more comfortable. Yet, the truth is that when we change, when we alter our inner emotional state, we influence the internal dynamics of the other in unknown ways, sometimes visibly so, frequently invisibly, so that the other changes as well. This change can happen through direct interactions with another, but it can also happen on a soul level when the other is far away.

Here are some examples:

- A mother who experienced a spiritual awakening which allowed her to speak about how she felt for the first time in her life. An adult daughter who had already left home simultaneously began to confide in her mother in ways that had been absent for many years.

- A son who felt angry and embattled within his family who became modest and peaceful when his parents were willing to let go of their own anger.

- A sister who lived far away from the rest of her family by choice, who began to feel more loving when the sister with whom she had great conflict began to love her from a distance.

- A group of people, unknown to each other, who, in the course of an evening, fell in love with each other.

- A brother who had felt rejecting toward his half-brother while he was alive, whose picture of him changed after his brother's death as his brother's inner self was revealed.

These examples of relationships illustrate the intricate connections between people. Those within families are often more intense than others and frequently more entangled. Those with strangers less so. And yet in all cases the interconnection of souls allows one to affect another along energetic lines not always known to the conscious self. As a result, the other feels the inner shift in perception and vibration when it occurs.

Young children, in particular, are especially intuitive in this way.

The entire human race is similarly interconnected, each intuiting the collective awareness and vibration of the whole.

Never think that those around you and even those at a distance are not affected by the inner work you do, by the changes you make, or by the openings you experience. One's capacity to grow in light and love uplifts the world.

Withdrawing Projections - An Inventory

To take full responsibility for one's consciousness is a reflection of both spiritual awakening and spiritual maturity. Implicit in this action is the understanding that life does not just happen to us; that we shape our lives by the way we hold our awareness. Within all the activities and actions of life is a wisdom, often perceived only at the soul level of experience, and frequently only after passing from the physical body.

Responsibility for the contents of consciousness becomes more possible when we know beyond a shadow of a doubt that all of life is energy interacting. This is most especially true in human relationships. There, we can see energies intertwining, one influencing the other, one calling forth the other. Though this interaction may sometimes feel painful, in its deepest root it is bringing forth a capacity within the self which may, as yet, be unrecognized.

What is important here is not perfect willingness to become responsible for consciousness, but honesty. There may be places where unwillingness to forgive, accept, or love others or oneself still prevails. Such awareness needs to be acknowledged without shame, but with a sense of being willing to learn and with a desire and prayer for healing.

Here are some ways with which to see if you are ready to withdraw your projections from others and from your self:

1. How often do you think: "If only he(she) didn't do _______________, then I wouldn't ... (insert, here, your typical emotional or behavioral reaction)?

2. How often do you use the phrases: 'they made me feel bad', 'I got triggered', or 'he(she) pushed my buttons' in your inner vocabulary?

3. How often do you catch yourself waiting for someone else to change before you feel able to change yourself?

This is a place where couples and families often get into difficulty, since long-standing patterns of interaction create heightened expectancies.

4. How often do you think: I can't forgive her(him) because he doesn't deserve it?

5. This next is especially for partners. How often do you think : "I know exactly what you're going to say" or, "I know exactly what you're thinking?"

While this is often true in people who have a long and intimate relationship, it is not always true, and there is great benefit in not assuming. Clear communication, of course, helps the withdrawal of projections.

6. How ready are you to review your thought process on a daily basis to see where you were clear and open, and where you were projecting feelings or thoughts onto others. This can be done at any time of day or night but especially before going to bed?

7. How willing are you to be in the center of your own life without blaming your past history, present circumstances, or current limitations?

Letting go of past history as a determiner of consciousness can be an especially long process. On the other hand, releasing it to God can also take place in one inspired gesture as well.

8. How willing are you to see others as they are without wanting them to be different than they are?

This willingness is often compromised by the fear of not getting one's own needs met.

9. How willing are you to allow God and your higher self to meet your essential needs and to let others be who and where they are in life? (This is related to Question 8.)

10. How willing are you to let go of your projections onto yourself. These include past identities such as: I am a failure, I am unloveable, I am bound by my childhood experiences, I am unforgiveable, etc.?

What we label ourselves with are also projections onto the self of an assumed identity. They are not who we are. They are images of who we think we are.

Consciousness within one's daily life is meant to be a stream of energy infused with the Divine life that dwells within. When this energy runs smoothly it is like a crystal clear river filled with joy, inspiration, and love. When this energy is blocked by projections, labeling, and misperceptions, the Divine flow becomes limited to a small trickle, and the current of joy and inspiration has little room to expand.


See also: Withdrawing Projections from Others

Withdrawing Projections from Others

Within the process of purification, one gains the insight and ability to withdraw projections from others in order to take full responsibility for one's own feelings and consciousness. Along the way, certain basic principles are established relating to one's emotional and relationship life.

It is understood, for example, that each person is responsible for their own consciousness. Although the tendency to focus on external causes for what one feels may still be active, it is increasingly perceived that these are less significant as reasons for our reactions than the underlying tendency to feel and respond in certain ways.

These underlying tendencies toward anger, withdrawal, anxiety, depression, numbness, distractability, restlessness, etc. are not caused by others. They are part of the sub-structure of personality that a soul incarnates with. These features, in turn, create a stream of consciousness that produces feelings and behaviors.

When this stream of feelings is activated in the presence of another, that other is not the 'cause' of the activation but the 'immediate catalyst' for the activation which could also have been initiated by any one of a number of other possible activators. Understanding this is an important part of withdrawing projections.

Purification asks for great honesty with respect to motives. It asks us to understand and accept that when certain emotional energies and states are ready to reach awareness, whether on a short or long term basis, the external event will appear that seems to precipitate these energies into consciousness. The external event did not 'cause' the emotional energies. The emotional energies needing to become conscious brought into being or manifested the external event.

This perspective is often difficult to hold since one is generally not fully aware of the energies in their pre-conscious state. That is, one is not aware of them prior to the event which seemed to cause them. Yet, within our awakening consciousness, we begin to see that all events that surround us have meaning because they bring into focus the internal issues in need of healing and transmutation.

Such a perspective leads to the awareness that we create our own lives. We draw to ourselves those events, persons, and situations which will help heal those places within us in need of healing. We are not acted upon as much as creators. This is the basis for understanding the power of thought and feeling and for understanding the need to withdraw projections.

Taking responsibility for one's own consciousness is often not easy, especially when external events are compelling and arouse strong reactions. Nevertheless, this movement begins the process of actualizing a deeper layer of honesty with ourselves. It promotes healing that will often remain inaccessible while projections are still in the way.