The Decision to Trust

I recently had a breakdown and now I have a lot of fear. I have a hard time with people, and frequently have panic attacks. I was wondering if you have any advice. I'm even reluctant to disclose to much information to you because I don't have a lot of trust and this is my first time writing to you.

I am sick and tired of having this flight response to life. Thank you for your time. -- Joan

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Dear One,

Thank you for writing and for trusting enough to reach out in this way. You are still traveling through life with wounds from the past and have to decide now whether you will let your past define you, or whether you can accept a new identity in the present and future. This is a real choice that you and others can make at this time, since the available supports are present in a spiritual sense for you to shed your past identity and to embrace a freer and more whole life in God.

Though it is possible, it often does not feel like a simple matter to drop the past, for it involves establishing a new anchor of trust in the present. This is what will enable you to get past the fear that is so much coloring your life. You are afraid, because fear, as an energy, is moving through you in an intense way. Yet, there are other possible ways of living in the world when one has decided to learn to trust. The way to begin is with this decision, which, in itself, will begin to create a new energetic balance within you.

Trust in a spiritual sense is not based on what human beings do but on what God does. It is based on truth and on light - on the knowing of the Divine essence that lives within you even in the presence of fear. Once this knowing takes root, it begins to be stronger than the fear and over time becomes stronger and stronger if allowed to do so.

There are many ways, dear one, to begin to strengthen your spiritual anchoring to help make this possible. Writing to me is one of them. You might also wish to look at Pathways of Light which is filled with spiritual supports and see if anything there appeals to you. Please feel free to write again if you wish.

Know, too, despite your present state of emotion and the experiences you have lived through, that you are greatly loved. Blessings - Julie Redstone

Feeling Disconnected from Life - Light Body Adaptation

Another response to "An Invitation:"

Dear Julie,

I don't know if what I have been going through is the process of dissolution or not but for the past 2 years I have been going through a very dark period. I thought it was because of the ending of a deep relationship but now I'm not so sure.

I have become very emotional and I am overwhelmed at times with feelings of sadness and disconnection to my life, as if I don't fit into it any more. My life seems empty and purposeless and there is no joy in anything I do. My brain is different, my memory is bad and I can't focus. Even in my meditation I drift off.

The only thing that gives me solace is nature and I am drawn more and more into feelings of empathy and compassion for distressed animals, which I don't understand.I am a healer but I don't know how to use my abilities or what my purpose is.Why don't I feel more connection with my guidance as time goes on. Do you think this is psychological or light body related? Thanks and blessings. Janice

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Dear Beloved One,

The shift in your underlying identity is at the root of your sense of not belonging and of not finding much meaning anywhere. The old premises of your identity are changing and the new ones have not fully emerged yet. This is a significant aspect of the 'dissolution' that is so common to the adaptation process brought about by the new energies of light. It makes the old person new, not through any conscious process, but through removing the old attractions and changing the value system of motivation so that it corresponds more fully to the purposes of the soul.

The aspect of yourself as healer is an important one for you, and you will not know where it will lead you unless you give it room to grow by moving in whatever new direction attracts you. This may be with animals or elsewhere. The anticipation of finding something that 'makes sense' to your mind must be let go of because the new foundation of identity is based not on the mind but on what 'makes sense' to the heart.

You are doing well with the process, dear one, even unbeknownst to yourself, as you have in you the willingness to go where you are led and to follow your most deeply held principles regarding the truth of who you are and who God is. Now, you need to let go of all clinging to the past and to past conceptions of who you thought you were supposed to be, and let the emergence of the new take place. The more you do this, the more it will feel like grace and the less confusion and sadness there will be in the picture.

Energy alterations are also producing the heightened emotional shifts you are experiencing and will continue for a while. Trust this. Access to guidance may have come to you before through understanding, but now it must also come through following the new feelings of compassion and peace that are arising directly from your heart. These can convey to you the directions of your soul.

Blessings dear Janice, and may your own true nature be a joyous discovery for you as you come more fully into being. If there are other questions you wish to ask, please write again to Light Omega Comments

A Time of Dissolution - New Light Body Adaptation

I've been feeling I have no direction in life. It seems like I'm not being understood and/ or listened to, I have no ambition to create or know what to create, I don't have a meditative practice, I should send Reiki to others and don't, I feel like I don't know who I am anymore. I feel like I am going backwards and not forward with my life. As if I'm living in the dark and not the light. I could go on and on. It's like my body feels empty, but at the same time I feel like I am carrying around weights on my shoulders. Help, please. Thank You. Shelly

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Dear One,

There is often a time of dissolution or coming apart before a new self can be reconstituted. Without being known to the conscious self, the structure of personal identity is being altered in order to make way for the new. This can lead to profound feelings of discomfort, and to doubt that something good is truly happening.

Understand this: the dissolution is a necessary step for those who choose to walk in the light of their larger self. For some people it takes place in only small ways, or in only selected areas of life, while for others it is an across-the-board phenomenon, acting upon almost all aspects of one's being.

During a time of dissolution, it is difficult to find the motivation to do anything or to go in any direction, because the center of motivation itself is being altered. This is happening so that a new directive, infused with the higher self consciousness, can take over direction of the outer life more completely.

One must be patient with this process, and also know that many others are going through something similar in their own ways. While this does not remove the intrinsic discomfort of feeling awash in uncertainty, emptiness or lack of direction, it does allow trust to remain in the presence of such feelings.

Try, in the midst of this, to find one spiritual anchor that you can relate to, even if it feels small or of little significance. Music can be an anchor, walking in the woods, being in a spiritual vibration that has a particular ambiance. This time of dissolution is very important and very valuable, for it creates a path forward into the future. Blessings. Julie Redstone

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For those of you who may have questions or experiences such as the above that you may wish help with, please write to me at Light Omega Comments. This is a different address than the blog 'Comments.'

Letting Go

There can be no transformation without letting go.
Holding onto the past re-creates the past.

The future, to be new, must be open - without strings attached.
Will you let go of what you are holding onto and let the Divine
within you do the rest?

More About 'Thresholds'

Standing at a threshold where a consciousness shift wants to happen and feels like it 'might' happen often involves a sense of risk. There is sometimes a fear of moving backwards into a previously difficult or entrenched situation. But there is even more of a fear of moving forward into the Unknown.

Movement forward at a 'threshold' is often perceived as a 'leap of faith' since one generally does not know what is on the other side. Such a 'leap of faith' is sometimes made due to a sense of inner necessity, namely, that anything would be better than what has been. But it is also and more commonly based on the willingness to trust the Divine goodness of life which is God to uphold one in an unknown space. Without trust, the passage through the doorway can seem terrifying if not impossible.

There are threshold behaviors that can help in some situations: imagining in a positive way what one hopes to encounter and letting that assume the quality of a 'hypothetical reality' - not quite real, but not quite false either. Considering the people who have walked through the doorway before oneself. Asking for the courage to surrender more deeply to Divine Will. All of these can be helpful but are not always useful when fear runs high.

When a 'threshold' appears in life and can be accepted as a passage, transformation is speeded up and a letting go of past difficulties is often the result. When the threshold is rejected or turned away from, the loss is only of time. For more time will go by and in God's loving manifestation, another 'threshold' will appear at some point in the future.


See Standing at the Threshold

Standing at the Threshold

 

There are times and moments when a door opens in one's consciousness to make something much clearer than it has been before. It may appear that this door opening has to do with an external event, and, indeed, life circumstances can catalyze shifts in awareness. However, more often than not, there is an energy shift taking place internally, allowing awareness to change its perspective to a new place, sometimes for just a moment, sometimes forever.

These shifts in perspective can be short-lived, or they can be life-changing. It depends, in part, on what one does at the threshold, and in part on the energy itself which supports the emerging state of awareness. The energy basis for holding a new perspective is generally not within one's control, but the desire to walk across the threshold often is.

What does walking across the threshold mean?

In part, it means not giving weight to fear as a reason to continue in an attitude, behavior, or perspective that has outlived its usefulness. It may mean risking something new that seemed too difficult or impossible before. It may mean taking a deep breath and saying to whatever part of the self wants to hold onto the past - "I don't need to do that any more." It may mean allowing God's help to be invited into one's consciousness with greater trust.

Standing at a threshold involves an encounter with the Unknown. It involves trust in the possibility that in stepping across the threshold, new possibilities will occur. It also involves the motivation to discontinue old patterns that repeat themselves endlessly, and the permission to let something new take their place.

Standing at a threshold is a blessed place to be and if one is truly aware of the moment, gratitude is a natural response. The presence of a 'threshold' means that God's light as it moves through consciousness has opened up a new world of possibilities. When one embraces this opening, when one can be grateful for its presence instead of frightened, the passage into a new stage, a new chapter, or a new relationship with the Divine can begin.

Waiting

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The gift of waiting for one's life and work to expand is this: that in the abdication of pursuing one's own will, separate from God, one becomes more fully aligned with Divine Will, with highest purpose, with one's truest heart - invisible, unseen, yet emerging from the silent depths of the Infinite without ceasing to move forward.

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Beyond 'Like' and 'Dislike'

The history of the ego is the history of self-protection based on a sense of identity uprooted from its Divine context. We are afraid because we feel alone and unprotected.

This is also true in the world of relationships, where the history of judging and feeling judged, rejecting and being rejected, liking some and not liking others creates a familiar world in which we feel relatively secure, while barring from our circle of intimacy those we feel do not belong in it either because they judge us or we judge them.

Such a history has been with most human beings for a very long time. As a result, although one's conscious self may intend to let go of the concepts of 'like' and 'dislike,' it is often very difficult to do. If we hold these concepts to be valid, then we have a reason for avoiding or remaining apart from others - a reason that we believe is valid. As a result, we restrict our world to only those relationships in which we feel comfortable or in which we feel a sufficient common ground.

However, the life of the sacred is calling to us. It is asking us to redefine what 'common ground' is. It is asking us to no longer believe the reasons we tell ourselves for excluding anyone from our hearts.

This universal love to which we are being called cannot separate itself from anyone because there is no one to whom we are not connected. There is no one whom we are not part of. And yet the ego knows nothing of these things. It still thinks that there are reasons to reject some and to accept others. It maintains its own way of doing things - a way that is based on the history of duality and of separation from the unity of life.

Often, souls come to a place in their spiritual journey where the desire to live as a soul comes into conflict with the residual desire to live as an ego. Then, there are justifications, rationalizations, reasons, and so forth that we use to tell ourselves why we still believe in separation from others. Often, we are content to cling to the old premises, for example, "It is not I that cannot accept them. It is they who cannot accept me." This, of course, is a false premise for closing one's heart, since love does not depend upon two; it only depends upon one. One can still love in the presence of not-love in another. Whether our love can be expressed in a manifested joining, however - that depends upon two. But love itself depends only upon one.

When the decision to love without exception becomes an inner necessity, the ego begins to lose its grip upon the daily consciousness. Sometimes there is a vascillation back and forth between the old ways of fear and judgment and the new ways of the soul, but progress is made according to the degree to which one no longer believes one's former rationales.

Taking responsibility for one's own consciousness is an important part of forward movement in the healing of relationships. Finally, one must move away from believing that anyone else can 'make us' feel a certain way. When that premise can be let go of, the heart can breathe a sigh of relief. Then, everything can be seen and felt as a choice, and each soul who makes progress along a spiritual path can learn to choose with greater wisdom, greater love, and greater self-awareness.

The Healing of Anger

Many people would like to get rid of anger but do not know how. This is often because despite its inner and outer consequences, anger is frequently chosen over its possible alternatives which are deemed to be more painful. What are these alternatives, and why would one choose anger above them?

In a general sense, at the root of all anger is helplessness. One might say that at least some of the time the sense of helplessness is a perceived sense rather than a reality. Or, one might say that if one were in right relationship to life and God there would be a way through the helplessness which is a legacy of the sense of separation from the Divine. Indeed, both of these statements would be true. Neverthless, on the level of human experience, to undo anger and to approach a deeper level of truth, one must be willing to experience the underlying issues of helplessness and fear that one is warding off. This does not mean giving these feelings full power over the self. Nor does it mean that one must stop acting in self-caring ways and instead become passive. Rather, helplessness must be uncovered as an inner perception of how things are or were.

People choose anger because anger feels like it empowers the self. It reduces the feeling of helplessness and conveys both the desire and often the capacity to 'do something' about whatever is troubling. Often, however, the success of such a strategy is an illusion, since anger generally begets negative consequences either from the environment or from within oneself.

In the context of a spiritual framework, the uncovering of the feeling of helplessness needs to be accompanied by a willingness to give the helplessness to God, and trust that no matter what the circumstance, peace, hope, and healing can take place. This is possible because healing does not depend on things changing on the outside but on the inside.

These things are simple to say but often difficult to put into practice for those who have chosen anger as the safer way to live. Trust that letting go of anger will leave things alright is sometimes a difficult belief to acquire. Often, profound helplessness has been experienced in relation to dealing with circumstances that could not be changed, people who could not be changed, or the limitations of life as a whole over which one has had little or no control. Each of these things, when faced directly, can evoke a great deal of pain. For this reason, it is easy to see why one would want to choose anger and to protect against its alternatives.

Nevertheless, and despite these reasons, helplessness does not require defenses. In the presence of the feeling of vulnerability, it requires a relationship with God and a relationship with pain which allows it to be held with compassion and trust. Such compassion and trust allows the self to know that even in the presence of pain, one is alright and upheld from within.

Helplessness is not weak, nor is it bad, nor is it passive. It is part of the human experience in a state of perceived separation from God. Its strength lies in its honesty and in the relationship it creates with the Divine. Out of this relationship comes an understanding of the highest possible response to life in the way of action or non-action. This understanding applies to those situations which would formerly have been met with anger. Out of this relationship with the Divine also comes compassion for all that exists in limitation.

To undo anger, one must replace it with trust and with the desire to learn a new relationship with life. Having seen its purposefulness as a defence and also the negative consequences for oneself and others, one can choose to face the feeling of helplessness more openly. One can choose to live from a deeper truth.

Out of this choice may come the decision to lay down ones arms and armaments and to become like a little child again. Most children feel and are small and helpless without a sense of endangerment. They feel trustful and they feel protected. In a similar light, with the innocence of a child, one can learn once again to find a substitute for anger, and a new way of living that is more open and free.

Emotional Purification

Life-changing thoughts, when applied to emotions, can free the self to experience something totally new - the inner being that is free and not limited by difficult or problematic emotional states. Thoughts such as:

I am not my emotions. Emotions are something I carry. They are not who I am.

can create a space between one's awareness and anything that is passing through it.

I am a pure and blameless child of God.

This establishes identity in a new context. Anchoring in this new context is the path of healing and purification as one seeks to transform the inner life.

I forgive myself my limitations and I ask for healing.

This is important in surrendering self-judgment and giving all to God.

Life-changing thoughts applied to emotional states allow new, light-filled energy to expand and deepen the work of inner healing.

Freedom

We hold onto the past not because we must, but because our identity is tied up with memories, concepts, images, and beliefs that have traveled with us through time. We hold onto these concepts and beliefs, often at our own expense, because the fear of letting them go is stronger than the wish to let them go.

In any moment, a new awakening is possible to a new foundation for identity, built on the understanding that the past is not who we are but who we think we are. In any moment we may choose to let go of this clinging and allow the Unknown to lift us into freedom.